New Life, New Site---a new way of thinking–on its way!---

Can’t begin to write this entry. Effects of Alcohol still lingers in me. I have been drinking 3 hours prior to this entry. I dont really know how to start this… All I know is I opted to drink to at least forget for a while all the frustration I have inside. Last week, I tragic event happened. One of my closest cousins had a Nervous Breakdown. I know what he’s been into lately. I know for a fact that problems that are kept inside for so long would really get into out judgement. I dont know if ill be on the same fate if I continue on holding on to my hatred. I know for a fact that it has been a couple of weeks that I cant get over to the things that me despise people. I know that it is bad but I could not help it. I have a lot of frustrations lately both from work and personal. I cant even think where the boundary is. Dont get me wrong… I love talking…. It’s my Nature that is why I chose this Job more than a year ago. But the fact that I am seeing myself on an unhealthy environment is really frustrating. There are really people who gets into your nerves no matter how you try to accept them on what they really are. I know it will take a long time to really get used to… I am not in a hurry.

On an entirely different matter, I have fully weigh things up though alcohol was not much of help…. I will still be pushing with my countdown…. at least I am clear with that. I dont know how to say this…. i mean write this… but I have made up my mind to get over about something that happened 2 weeks ago at work… I wont get over it… I might forget how embarassing it was but I wont get over it…. t’was so unfair…. I know I have flaws and we all know that these are the one of the natures of being a human being. I know I still care but I am beginning to see a whole new perspective in everything he does. I have promised myself not to have a truce - not anytime soon. I better end this now…. I know I am not making sense, forgive me… I am drunk. -end-

The best things in life are free. Yeah! I believe so… being Free is actually what everyone wants right? Free… I am desperate to be free nowadays… Not that Im being imprisoned somewhere but the fact that I have been bothered a lot of things lately. One thing is my Career, I never really wanted to get into a Contact Center Industry but during the time I decided to Sign up the Contract more than a year ago. I could still remember those days that I am desperate to get out. Now, I am in that situation too! I am Desperate to get out. Get Out. A lot of things are to be considered before I finally make my decision, I Dont know if this would be a right decision, all i know that it would be a healthy decision. I cant blame other people to feel the same. Can you just imagine working for the one of the world’s biggest outsourced centers and that a lot of people come and go. Though we get to have the Biggest Compensation but the pressure is unbearable. I am not growing and I am not moving. I need to venture out. One friend recently told me that we are not being Valued. Valued? that’s not applicable in this d%mn center. Rumor has it that we will have an increase and the question is : “When is it gonna be?” It’s just like our commission and that was supposed to be released last 5th but where is it? GONE…36-48 hours? That’s gone too! I am not moving.. what a waste of my time. Tsk tsk tsk… I am so frustrated thinking about those people who come and face their decisions to really get out. Should I be on the Trend as well? I just hope I can still muster the courage to go through it all. God help me.

Boring….

Here I am again, waiting for a customer to call-in. Hahaha! I really dread this moment knowing that any moment now my avaya would beep telling me that a new customer is waiting for me to open the call. Isn’t this boring? I have been in this company more than a year now and there’s nothing really good about it. Well, most people would be actually so proud knowing that they have endured a lot and survived for more than a year! For me? Ewwww….I can’t imagine that I survived this far without really looking into a concrete career path. I can’t even imagine that I, for one who’s got a lot of ambitions to reach, never thought that I’d be stuck here for more than a year. I know a lot of people here share my sentiments. But the fact that this kind of career is too risky to stay longer, I am not getting any younger either. I have been thinking as well, Why in the world this company cant be contented nor fulfilled, they can’t even get enough of the performance of their people. One time it would be this and the next it would be that, if you know what I mean. I love changes, dont get me wrong! But when it comes to changes that is really impossible to directly cope up with - that’s already UNHEALTHY. No wonder the attrition rate is too high. I can’t blame them. Most of my colleagues are now in with the “countdown” and most are actually tenured already. After more than a year here.. wohooo… i feel my brain is rotten already. Yeah, Rotten…. I’m afraid that any moment my brain cells would just die out. I bet all the people who share my sentiment would agree that We are just merely working for the Income not for the passion! Who in the hell in his right mind would proudly say “I love this job” WTF? I’d rather say “I love receiving my Compensation” Hahaha! Once again, The Countdown Begins -end-

The Deep - These are the people whom you think has a perfect smile. Those people are those I get a long so easily. Well, although I knew what and who they are I get the sense that somewhere in there, there’s still a Good side. These people are those you think won’t even break a glass, guess what? How perfect their smiles can be, they are deceiving. I cant even imagine how they manage to be so perfect and yet so destructive. Silent water runs deep.

The Confident - Well, I woudn’t say that being confident is really bad. It is not. Being confident on what you do is actually good, but the fact that if a person’s confidence already step into another person’s credibility, it’s already a different thing. All I am saying is that we should know where are boundaries are. We know losers have their boundaries, we don’t have to emphasize where we stand. It’s just like Too Much of Something is Bad Enough.

The Lead-on - Leaders! Wohooo we look up to them as Role Models, right? Lead-on people are those who I think have the capabilities to Manipulate others. I don’t know how they do that, all i know is that - it is not a good thing to Manipulate others to get an agreement over something. Manipulation is wicked when you influence others to agree on your plans most likely to benefit yourself. Isn’t that selfish? Huh? Well, I was thinking that A Good Leader Should Be A Good Follower. I hope this makes sense. Ahahaha!

The Subtle - With extreme care and accuracy, these kinds of people gets into your nerves killing you from the inside. They are like Parasites. Parasites that you never knew of until its almost too late. Hahaha!

The Big Head -These people are likely to have gain so much power out of something, it could money or even prestige. Although these people can be mistaken as Over-confident. The only big difference is that they gain confidence out from something they achieved.

The big question is WHY?

I can’t blame them.Well, I have recently been thinking the same for a couple of days now, in fact, I should say been weeks now. I recently made up my mind to really look to for a better and healthy career…. i have been complicated with a lot of illness and I know these are related to this d%mn job. Well, I’m lil’ somewhat biased, I admit. Yes! working for a Call Center is an interesting job, but when it comes to pressure on the metrices to meet that’s an entirely different thing. We had enough of the retrenchment, threats, and memos…. and the only thing left to do is leave and scout somewhere else. I am so proud of my friends who have mustered to courage to get out. I Salute them. I can’t even imagine how much more I can take and swallow this d%mn job. I am still on the verge of vomiting. I, Myself had enough and if only I get a better job, I’d be glad to really let go. To Jouie, I am so proud of you. You’ve made it. You’ve made your mark and we’ll always be grateful for that. Thank you for setting us an example. Thanks!